Was your mother the queen of the house, cooking, cleaning, and overseeing the household in general? All the while, your father worked hard to provide for the family and cared for the garden, car, and the house’s general handyman.
As with many from that era, these roles served them well through many years of marriage, through raising the children and into retirement.
But now things are changing; Mum has become more frail, the signs of Dementia are becoming more apparent, she is struggling to remember to take her medication, and she is unsteady on her feet to keep on top of the household chores.
Dad is trying his best to help, but doing the housework, cooking and caring for Mum is hard.
If Dad is caring for Mum, who is caring for Dad?
Although your parents insist they are fine and do not need assistance, this may be the right time to seek some help at home. While your father has many talents, providing personal care and managing all of the household tasks may not be among them. Your mother deserves the care and attention that a trained carer can provide while relieving some pressure and stress from Dad and allowing him to concentrate on doing the nice things with Mum, going for walks, chatting in the garden and watching their favourite shows together.
People often step into caregiving roles naturally, wanting to support their loved ones. However, this can be emotionally and physically demanding for both parties.
Introducing home support early, before things become critical, is beneficial for many reasons:
Start small:
If your parents are hesitant about accepting help at home, begin with a few care calls each week. This gradual approach allows them to become comfortable with home care and to get to know the carers. You might consider starting with a few morning visits to assist your mother with bathing, or a lunch/dinner visit to ensure she is eating well and to help with some household chores.
Build gradually:
As your parents grow accustomed to having help, or if their needs increase, you can gradually expand the support. Over time, they will become familiar with the care team and recognise the benefits—not just for your mother, but also for your father, who enjoys chatting with the caregivers and looks forward to their visits. You can see he is more relaxed, the home support for Mum has also been beneficial for him too.
Respite Care:
Now Mum loves the carers, and Dad trusts them to look after his wife. Dad can have some well-earned breaks knowing Mum is in good hands. Having a regular respite care call will allow Dad some downtime from his caring role and enable him to recharge. Whether it be to allow him to go shopping, catch up with friends or attend a local club.
Care for both:
As time goes on, Dad starts to need some support of his own; you can increase the care calls to cover Mum and Dad. Allowing them to remain safe at home together for as long as possible.
You now have peace of mind knowing someone is popping in regularly, helping them with daily tasks, and being able to report back on any changes or concerns.
Hear what our clients have to say:
“My Nan has recently begun to have care. She was extremely reluctant at first but with the support from Papillon office team, they were able to support Nan to understand what their role would be and to still enable her to have her independence. My Nan was also anxious to have care due to her complex medical history but with the office team and care support, my Nan overcame this and is now thriving.”
For more information on our care services or a general chat about how we can help, call Papillon Home Care on 01303 255785 or complete our care enquiry form and a member of the team will be in touch.
Papillon Home Care – We are here to help
